First Draft April 22, 2015

College is often discussed as a time of self-discovery and reinvention.  When I came to college I wanted to be a photographer. I entered the college of fine arts not realizing how little I knew about the art world and how extensive it was. After a couple of years in college I started to grasp what this idea of being an artist was really about, to me at least. Recently I’ve come to the realization that being an artist can mean different things to different people. Especially when you are a female artist. The label female artist has become a defining feature of my identity and has had different connotations attached to it by different people. The experiences, influences, and ideas that I have encountered while being a female art student transitioning into a practicing artist has shaped my identity in ways that have and will continue to influence the way I see myself and the world around me.

In art history, women’s roles in art have not been significantly noted for several reasons. Females have always participated in the art world, whether as working artists, art critics, or other careers related to art. Despite their contributions, white males have always dominated the art world and their influence caused the female presence to be nonexistent. The themes or topics that females create and discuss are not as relatable to males and therefore are considered inferior or non-existent. This is due in part to gender roles created by society and the type of art that women created. The Guerrilla Girls are a feminist art group, founded in 1985 by women artists, who distribute propaganda and create artwork that draws attention to feminism and women’s issues in the art world.  During an interview one spokesperson for the group was asked the question “So, are things ok for women in the art world now?” and her answer was “Things are better now than they ever have been for women and artists of color and we have helped effect that change. Right now there is decent representation of women and artists of color at the beginning and emerging levels of the art world. At the institutional level however, in museums, major collections and auctions sales, things are still pretty dismal for all but white guys. We believe that the economics of the art market is responsible for this.” I think there’s a lot more than economics that plays into it.

In the fine arts program, professors and other students critique work openly. During critiques, professors often ask me what my intentions were, what I planned to accomplish, and why I chose to make certain decisions relating to the aesthetics and methods used creating the project. The male students are not usually critiqued as harshly or questioned as to why they chose to make certain decisions. Male students also critique their peers more harshly and take themselves a lot more seriously than others. Sometimes this attitude toward females in the arts is crushing. Being surrounded by people who don’t understand or appreciate something you’ve created is similar to saying that they don’t understand or appreciate you. During a class meeting, a male student in the class told a female student that her work was subpar and that it was not appealing. No one said anything. This same student called out other female students as well but never a male student. The majority of the students in the class were females. Why did this male student feel as though he had the authority and experience to critique the work of another student? Sometimes it is easy brush off these events but there are many times when I don’t feel as though I am good enough when compared to others.

By constantly being critiqued and feeling the male gaze always looking down on my work, I feel a sense of detachment. My work isn’t understood or credited and therefore I am not an artist. In Women and Art by Judy Chicago and Edward Lucie-Smith, Chicago states “It was only there that my gender seemed to cease to matter, where I could be all that I was. …whenever I tried to bring what I had created out of my wholeness into the world, the problem of my gender continually interfered.” I recently have come into more of an understanding of what Chicago meant by this. I had no idea that my gender would affect my career in the way that it has but it is always at the back of my mind and at the front of every male’s.

The first definition that is generated when you search “artist - definition” online is, “a person who produces paintings or drawings as a profession or hobby.” So does that mean I am not an artist because I don’t paint or draw? Some people consider art to fall into the classification of either “high art” or “low art”. There is a large and complicated debate on what characterizes high art and low art and what kind of art falls into what category. To attempt to define these terms, high art is considered artwork that has formal properties, has a history, and that increases ones understanding of the world. Typically high art includes paintings, sculpture, and drawing. Photography is still a relatively new invention, when compared to painting, and produces a very realistic image of the world that can be reproduced more than once. This is the definition of low art, artwork that is not one of a kind and that is realistic rather than interpretive. Many art students at this university don’t consider photography to be an art form due to the characteristics listed above. This also makes me feel excluded from the art community because I don’t meet the standards of art created by other people.

Photography to me is an art form because it allows me to express myself. To me that is what art is- an extension of one’s self through the expression of art. Art relates to others and allows them to feel something. It allows humans to connect and relate to one another. If a photograph does that then why isn’t it considered art? I am currently taking a class taught by a painting professor. During one class I put a digital photograph on the wall to be critiqued, it was the only photograph amongst paintings and sculptures. As the professor walked past each work he made comments on ways that each could be improved. When he reached mine he turned to me and with a goofy sarcastic intonation in his voice said, “It’s a picture!” I wasn’t sure how to respond but it was clear that this work was not considered to be worthy of the title of art and was therefore labeled as just a “picture”.

This professor is known for being blunt, rude, and offensive. I’ve never had a professor be so candid and say things knowing that they are offensive. I often wonder why he feels entitled to say such things but I think it is due to the fact that he knows that he won’t get in trouble. Why does he feel privileged? Is it due to his reputable career as a painter? Curious as to how he could still be teaching while having such a personality, I researched how students relate to male and female professors. I came across a tool created by Benjamin M. Schmidt, an assistant professor of history at Northeastern University, that shows how students use different words when rating male and female professors on the website Rate My Professor.  This tool shows a correlation between positive and negative feedback and males and females. After reading some of this professor’s reviews, depicting him a genius, the best professor, and a credible scholar, I began to see how accurate Schmidt’s tool was.

I know that I have never felt privileged or knowledgeable enough to criticize anyone’s work in a brutal way. Some would consider that to be the nurturing female aspect of my personality. In order to be an artist do I have to have that brutal nature? If I don’t have it in me does that mean I can’t be a true artist?

When I gather with family members or friends who aren’t involved in the art world, eventually the question comes up, “What are you going to do as a photographer?” That’s a great question. There are lots of different career options for photographers and artists. However, the lack of knowledge on these career options makes the conversation particularly one sided. A few weeks ago I saw my uncle and we began discussing what I had been up to and what I planned to do after graduation, which is still a year away. I began to explain my goals and when he didn’t seem to understand them he just asked patronizing questions such as “Do you have a back up plan?” and “Well what do you really want to do?” Finally, when he couldn’t understand my position or career goals anymore he sarcastically stated, “Well do you want to take photos of the president or something?” This was funny to me because I took photographs of President Obama when he came to Ohio University in 2012. So my pointed reply to this was “I already have.” I wonder why that’s where the questions stopped.